In this TEDx talk, Nigel Marsh makes a compelling case for changing the culture of the workplace. (Thanks, Pierre, for sending the link!)
Marsh says we’ve bought into the idea that certain jobs are fundamentally incompatible with having meaningful life outside of work. And so, we’ve become complicit in the theft of our own time:
There are thousands and thousands of people out there, living lives of quiet, screaming desperation. They work long hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things that they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.
And why is this happening? Because we’ve put the quality of our lives in the hands of corporations, he says.
Commercial companies are inherently designed to get as much out of you as they can get away with.
Marsh says government will not save us, we have to take matters into our own hands.
I loved this talk, and I agree that there are an awful lot of us out there who let our guilt and need for acceptance run the show. But he’s oversimplified the problem. There are millions of people out there who don’t even have the right to one sick day. How are they supposed to take matters into their own hands?
In the U.S. we have to acknowledge that the government has failed working families. We’re the only developed nation with no paid maternity leave. Millions of working Americans don’t have the right to even one paid sick day. And don’t get me started about the gender pay gap (which penalizes mothers, not fathers), and the steep pay penalties for time off or working part time.
Yes, we need to get our individual priorities in order. But we also need to decide that we value our quality of life as a nation, and put some basic protections in place.
Did you watch the talk? What did you think?
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By the way, government can impact work culture. Look at what’s happening in Sweden.
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And speaking of the government saving us, health care reform has made it illegal for insurance companies to deny children with preexisting conditions. In California, companies are required to offer insurance at reduced rates until March 1, 2011. So if you or someone you know needs insurance, now’s the time to enroll those kids.
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Even the world’s funniest mom, Tina Fey, struggles mightily with working mom dilemmas.
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Oh, and one more thing…
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I love that this blog puts into words what so many working moms are feeling, and I love that people want to talk about change. But so far, the most common solution offered up here is “Let’s be more like Sweden/Denmark/France.”
There is an obvious problem with consistently holding up these countries up as examples of a healthy culture that working moms should aspire to creating in America: they are fundamentally different from the US, politically, economically, culturally and historically.
Sweden isn’t even a true socialist country, but plenty of people in the US call it that. People here call Barack Obama a socialist, for pity’s sake. Do you really think that in such a culture, there is any chance of developing the type of social welfare programs we see in Scandinavia?
America is hyper-capitalist. Those big corporations we are ceding our quality of life to have unprecedented control over our government and culture. Wealth disparities between the corporate elite and ordinary people haven’t been this bad since the 1920s. The only way we are going to make things better for working mothers is to somehow convince those corporations that it is in their interest to treat us better.
I don’t want to be fatalistic. But I don’t think more government support is a realistic goal in our current political climate. So how can we start a more realistic and productive dialogue here?
I think when enough people are fed up, anything can happen. Ask anyone in Egypt…
Change needs to happen on all levels, including, but not limited to, our government policies. I think there’s a lot corporations can do to make life better for employees and improve their bottom line. I talked a little bit about it here: http://wp.me/pVKXl-pD
You said this:
“The only way we are going to make things better for working mothers is to somehow convince those corporations that it is in their interest to treat us better.” Which a great place to take a discussion.
So how do we “somehow convince” corporations to treat employees like people instead of robots?
I believe for starters it has to impact the bottom line; this is why diversity works and is not a flavor of the day – there was a realization that there are other better ways to do things that can make us money but we dont know what they are – surely others must know – lets be tolerant, respectful and really listen and lets be brave enough to implement some of these suggestions..and viola it worked (of course I’m oversimplifying).
Back to convincing corporations – stage a mini-revolution in some form.
This was a really interesting talk, thanks for passing it along. I think that part of the problem we have in this country is that because the executives in corporate America have no balance they don’t understand the need for anyone else to have it – resulting in the line workers who can’t get time off for doctor’s appointments let alone school plays. It would be great if the corporate leaders could lead a revolution, lead by example, lead us to a better way…
why do we need to drive BMWs and live in McMansions? Let’s bake cupcakes with our kids instead of buying them at Sprinkles, live within our means and stop trading up – we are victims of our own need to succeed and our fear that if we stop clawing, others will claw past. Enough is enough, let them pass, eat a cupcake and hug your child/husband/wife/partner
It would be great if more of those “corporate leaders” were female, too, to lead that culture change. But to do that, their husbands would have to stay home and take care of the kids as they claw their way up…
I’m with AM, you have to appeal to people’s self interests–how do these changes affect the bottom line? That’s why Joan Blades book is so great, because it shows actual case studies where corporations can do well by “doing good.”
Living within your means does not merely mean not spending more $ than you can afford, but time as well. We need to work within our means, by not giving our employers more than we can give without sacrificing goods for our families, such as the time to bake those cupcakes together. we also need to parent within our means, by giving as much to our spouse and children as we possibly can; especially our spouse, as our relationship with our spouse is the most important thing for our children.
“So how do we “somehow convince” corporations to treat employees like people instead of robots?”
I have a plan! The same way, corporations convince us to buy useless crap: Use sex to sell motherhood!
I know, who dares to connect sex to motherhood? The bible? Politicians? The media? No, No, No… But what if moms did it? I have dreamed up an entire provocative campaign to intiate a massive cultural shift. One that follows a path of seduction instead of a battle.
Since I live in L.A., I’ve recently started to reach out to media avenues to intiate serving the “invisible” educated, mom demographic on political, economic and social issues.
As the article on Sweden shows us, men must be on board with the changes for anything to truly change — especially in our very patriarchal capitalist society. If any change is going to happen, I think the masses must sort of “fall under a spell” of the feminine. What is feminine anymore? Motherhood really made me think hard about that!
What do you think?
You crack me up.
Could you explain? I feel I am lost by your comment.
I’m actually serious about this idea.
I live in L.A. with sexualized media hitting you in the face every second. It is used to sell movies, gentlemen’s clubs, beer, clothes, television shows, etc., etc. Feminism has NOT made this stop. It is getting worse in some ways because sex and motherhood are not connected with anything of “value” in our consumer-driven culture.
What about using this type of branding mechanism to bring attention to motherhood and mother’s political agenda (to drive traffic to web-sites/magazines/businesses) in this same way?
Women are not sold an idea that motherhood is glamorous, even sexy nor to prepare responsibly for this role one day, to look forward to it and to embrace it as feminine. But what if we could make it so?
I think women denounce taking hold of this powerful tool — sex –to use it for their benefit because we are so influenced by the perspective coming at us just like our political and economic system. To borrow a line from this great post … “And so, we’ve become complicit in the theft of our own [sex]”.
Mothers should have a pretty good handle on sexual influences considering we clearly have evidence of it’s positive affects — our children. But even on this basic level, we don’t! No wonder we don’t get much respect.
I believe, if mother’s took hold over the sexual overtone of a society, alot of problems would begin to dissolve organically and systems would become better functioning because maternal input would hold value.
My detail idea’s are controversial, out of the box, humorous. The only way to get American’s talking about important issues is to shock them. So, I say — shock them.
@heather You say use sex – i say shift priorities. Sex is used to sell alot of things, but when you buy the things that sex sells you feel hoodwinked (eventually). The same can not be said about motherhood. As a society we need to realize the value of motherhood/parenthood and have our actions be in sync with this.
ps – i too live in la and i personally would be just fine if hollywood didnt try to influence me any more.
@AM, I agree with you about the shift of priorities. That could work — but very, very slowly. I read somewhere at the rate we are going in Congress it will take 500 Years before women gain balanced power. 500 YEARS!
I see what you say about feeling hoodwinked by sexual marketing, but is that because noone sells sex with something of tangible value? Like the fact that it produces the children we are all trying to fix society around. I’m trying to put the horse before the cart, the chicken before the egg (so to speak).
This is a completely foreign concept to us. I wish I had been influenced by positive maternal imagery that made sex part of the equation. It’s been utterly hi-jacked by everything and everyone else besides the people with plenty of evidence that they had sex. Mothers are the missing link or “the ultimate outcasts” as my blog is known. We cannot change the basic sexual element in society. We can make it better, smarter and use it to our advantage.
What influenced this idea was how I witnessed the tremendous political force the gay community has become. Ellen’s show and the following cultural changes paved the way for serious attention on the issue and certain political gains. In short 10 years.
I believe if you have play the media game. The political game is way to slow, long, boring, tedious. Like most moms, I’m all about efficiency and this is a fast way to take our message to the masses.
I agree w/ nigel marsh that it is our individual decisions that need to change in order to bring about the change we want in the world. People need to make decisions in their own lives as to which priorities to set above others. even with my excellent work situation with an employer that values families, paid paternity leave, flexible work hours, and at times even the ability to bring my kids to work, I still need to set my priorities in order, both at work and at home. changes in structure, on the level of government and employer, are certainly helpful. but they’re not the solution.
Eric,
I agree with you. We should encourage responsible parenting. Gen Xers and younger are trying to bring back the family mold. Hence, this website. I think Katrina aims to bring value back to the family roles while maintaining a woman’s ability to access the means and time to influence her society outside of the home.
No, it does not require a nanny state. It requires a society that recognize motherhood and the roles mothers fill as workers and nurtures — on the terms of the women. Not government, not financiers, not business, not religions. This is a big learning curve and uncomfortable growing pain. Where has this been done on a large scale? Think about societies that never go through these changes…they tend to look like North Korea, Afghanistan, Somalia…the worst places in the world.
For society to recognize the value of motherhood and family and children and fatherhood, individuals must do so.
Eric, I think it is a bit of a chicken & egg conunudrum. I agree that individuals can send powerful signals to the corporations through our choices but also, we live in a democracy. The hard part about this economy is that more women are supporting their families — not much choice and the Employers pretty much have us at their mercy. Meanwhile, in the U.S. there is a very solid belief – about 2/3 of the population – that says women working isn’t such a good thing.
Meanwhile, the desire women have for part-time work has gone sky high. Again, how to accomplish that in our culture as an individual without paying a very high price? Your suggestions are welcome.
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