Ze Frank wrote this song for a fan who was swamped with anxiety and needed a song to help her calm down. It’s the perfect thing to listen to if you’re feeling overwhelmed. I found it through Monkey Mind Chronicles, but you can read the full story behind the song on Ze Frank’s site.

Any other calm-me-down song recommendations?

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Speaking of overwhelm, did you take the poll yet?

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Last week I attended my first BlogHer conference, in San Diego.

It was a trip. Thousands of women in cute summer dresses and shimmering lip gloss descended on the convention center ready to learn and network and maybe even pick up a new product sponsor. (Something about big groups of women makes me self-conscious about the fact that I never wear lipstick, and I really need to do something about my hair.)

There were women of all ages, faiths, and political beliefs. Most of the women I met are moms (or grandmothers), and many of them, it seemed, started blogging after they had kids, as a way to feel less isolated. A lot of them had quit their jobs (for the same reasons many of us quit our jobs). They saw blogging as a way to make a little cash and still be home with their families. Many of the women I met dreamed of their blogs going big so they could live off the advertising income and never have to work another crappy job again. (Some of them already have made it big, but I kept thinking most of them could make more money as copywriters instead of writing sponsored blog posts for $50 a pop.)

Dozens of product sponsors tried to woo us, and I made off with a fat bag of free mints, body products, toys for the kids. And yes, Tupperware.

Like every conference everywhere, there was a lot of happy talk (Go bloggers! Go BlogHer! Go women! Go products!), but also this undercurrent of anguish about not being able to do it all: be a good mother, a good partner, and a good worker/blogger. Every time the topic popped to the surface, the discussion quickly devolved into a pep rally about how women need to change their attitudes.

In one typical session, a panel of women—all leaders in publishing—were asked to talk about “Redefining Success.” Again, with the happy talk.

“Tell yourself you’re doing your best!”

“Your kids don’t need you as much as you think they do!”

“If you don’t want to work, then don’t! You can always come back later…”

That last point really got under my skin. Because it’s not true. Studies show when women take a few years off to be with their children, it’s damnably hard to get back into their careers. [1] Which is one of many factors going into the pay gap between mothers and men.

In fact, the whole conversation was disappointing to me. Sure, we all need to examine our attitudes and make the best of our individual situations. But it’s not a coincidence that so many of us make ourselves sick trying to work and raise a family. Considering that study after study shows America is uniquely hostile to working families, saying we just need to change our attitudes is disempowering, and reveals a void of creative thinking.

There was zero discussion about the structural problems that leave working parents and stay-at-home parents feeling overworked, isolated, and unsupported. The traditional path to career “success” is to work long hours and take no time off. This doesn’t work for most mothers (and many fathers). Which is why so few women make it into leadership roles in any industry.

When it was time for questions, I asked the panel to tell us what they were doing as leaders to “Redefine Success.” And, because I didn’t want to put them on the spot, I said maybe they could tell us what other people did for them, to help them get where they are.

A bunch of people in the audience applauded when I was done. Apparently, I had struck a nerve. Then the conversation on stage went back to the usual.

“It’s not going to change in our generation.”

“The next generation will have to fix this.”

“We can’t expect companies to help us when the recession is killing everyone.”

What I would have said, if I still had the mic, is that it’s a cop-out to say this is the next generation’s problem, and the last comment is patently untrue. Companies with more women make higher profits, and companies that employ some type of “custom-fit” work practices see a benefit in their bottom line.

But I’m glad I spoke up, because for the rest of the conference, women kept stopping me and saying “Are you the one who asked that great question…?” My 30 seconds of fame.

I learned a lot at BlogHer, and met some wonderful people, but I hope next year’s conference will deal more honestly with how to connect your personal story to issues we all face. Until we see that connection, nothing is going to change.

* * *

At the conference, I met up with several like-minded souls. I recommend you see what they have to say:

Women changing the world

International Museum of Women. At one of the lunches, Krista Walton told me about an online exhibition she’s helping plan about motherhood. It sounds very cool. Want to submit something? See the full call for submissions.

Women Donors Network. Progressive women putting their money where their mouth is. Looking forward to learning more about what they’re up to.

MomsRising. I blog for them, but had never met the charming Anita Jackson and Ashley Boyd face-to-face, so that was fun. Ashley and I snuck away to the exhibit hall and compared conference notes while we luxuriated in free foot massages.

Fellow Oaklander, Aspen Baker, runs Exhale, an after-abortion counseling talkline. I’ve never heard of such a thing, but what a smart idea. (Call Exhale to talk freely about your experience with abortion. 1-866-4 EXHALE)

Women who will make you laugh

Nancy Davis Kho of Midlife Mixtape and I had only met once before we ended up sharing a hotel room at the conference. She was an excellent roommate. I would go anywhere with that lady. She’s wicked funny and sweet, listens patiently to my rants, dances a mean dougie, and doesn’t keep the light on too late. She also gave a wonderful reading on open mic night about being a concert “cougar”.

Shared a table on open mic night with the very witty “modern day housewife superhero,” Kristen McClusky of Motherload. Planning a trip? See her tips about the dangers of traveling cross-country with young children.

Yuliya from She Suggests had the best business cards at the entire conference, featuring her original photography, and she didn’t take it personally when I shushed her during a session. This is her funny recap of the conference.

Women with advice to share

Authors Melissa Ford, of Stirrup Queens, and Carleen Brice gave a lot of great advice about publishing for wannabe book authors. Melissa gives a lot of this information away for free on her site.

I met Linda Kazares of Divorcettes on a BlogHer “speed date.” Her site looks like a great resource for anyone going through a divorce.

Rookie Moms, Heather and Whitney are also the geniuses behind this wonderful local resource: 510Families.

Elisa Bautista of Mothertalkers is a joy to talk with about everything from progressive issues to pop culture, and she gave good advice on a panel about building community.

The Wise Latina Club. Also known as the alter-ego of Viviana Hurtado, challenging stereotypes about Latinas.

Chrysula Winegar is a fellow MomsRising blogger who coaches people on work-life issues.

* * *

I’m working more lately, which means I have less time to write. If you want to stay in touch with the blog but don’t know when to check it, I hope you will do one (or more) of the following:

• Subscribe by email
  When there’s a new post, you’ll get it in your email. Lately I’ve been posting every 1-2 weeks.
• “Like” me on Facebook
  You’ll see new blog posts in your news feed.
• Follow me on Twitter
  Warning: BlogHer made me face the truth. I’m a lame, lazy tweeter, so don’t expect a lot of action there.

* * *

[1] From this 2006 Slate article: “A recent study found that a full 93 percent of ‘highly qualified’ women who have opted out want to find a way back in and can’t.”

We’re back, after a peaceful week in a tent, at the edge of Yosemite. For one exciting, very wet day, thunder and lightening crashed around us. The rest of our vacation was sunny days by the river, swimming, fishing, and eating popsicles. I even read a whole Aimee Bender novel!

The absolute best part of the trip was all the focused outdoor time with our kids.

The second best part was that we had no cell phone reception.

This meant that I couldn’t give in to my annoying tic, wherein I check email on my phone every five minutes. Or maybe every five seconds, if I’m really worried about a work thing, or more likely, I’m just bored. Or procrastinating. I hate that I do this.

But with no cell phones working, I couldn’t check email (or news headlines, or stock prices, or Facebook). So instead, when I felt a twinge of boredom, I relaxed into the empty space of my unoccupied mind. It was peaceful. Therapeutic. I came home with a new resolve to spend less time staring at my phone.

Which brings me to this story my friend Steve sent about Americans working through their vacations.

Sixty-six percent of the 5,000 people surveyed said they will check and respond to email during their time off and 29 percent expect they may have to attend meetings virtually while on vacation.

In other words, most Americans work during their vacations.

That seemed sad to me. We all need down time. Especially the 88% of working parents with stress-related health problems.

But the even sadder part was the tone of the article, which quickly turned to advice about the “best way to blend vacation and work time.” You know, like, ask your colleagues to send you a single daily report email, rather than ad hoc emails, or find a proper business center where you can do your work with minimal disruptions.

“Modern work pressures mean that more and more of us work during our vacations,” said Guillermo Rotman, CEO of Regus. “The important thing is to minimize the inconvenience by working as efficiently as we can. Rather than struggle through three stressful and unproductive hours trying to work by the poolside, you could do the same amount of work more efficiently in a single hour at a business center, with free Wi-Fi, secure high-speed broadband and professional administrative support. You then have two hours free to relax properly.”

The important thing is to work efficiently on our vacations? Hmmm…I have a better idea. How about we just stop working?

I can see why it might be difficult for, say, Obama to do this…but are the rest of us professionals really so important that we can’t go away for a week and let other people cover for us? I don’t think so. I suspect that a lot of this working on vacation is really about trying desperately to appear indispensable, because we’re all afraid of losing our jobs. Which becomes a peer pressure thing. If everyone else works on their vacation, then you look like a slacker when you don’t.

Here’s my advice for your next vacation:

1. Tell people you’re going will be unreachable.
Say this with a nonchalant confidence. No apologies. If you apologize, it implies you are doing something wrong. Give people plenty of time to plan around your absence.

2. Pick a vacation spot with no cell phone reception.
Psst! Bay Area families! Tuolumne is great for this. And the only land line available is the pay phone in the dining hall. Be sure to leave your quarters at home. Better yet, leave the country, and avoid the Internet cafes at all costs.

3. Set your auto-reply message to the most annoying setting.
Have it send an “I’m not checking email” message to every single person who emails you, no matter how many times they email, rather than only sending a one-time only auto-reply. That way, every time someone sends you an email, they will be reminded that it is piling up in your inbox with all the others they sent.

What do you think? Are you going to work on your next vacation?

In March I wrote a post about how women are having fewer babies around the world, how this is creating a economic and culture crisis in some countries, and how our decision to have fewer children seems to be linked, in part, to our need for more family-friendly work policies.

(Phew! That was a mouthful. You can read more here.)

I mused about what would happen if, instead of quietly deciding not to have babies, we took this international Mommy Strike to the streets. What would we chant on the picket line?

I offered to send the first-ever (still to be designed) Working Moms Break mug to the person with the winning chant.

A bunch of people sent in their chants. This was back in March. And then I got busy with work. And we had more than the usual share of doctor appointments, and everyone got head lice, and I found out I need knee surgery, and…you get the picture.

But today, I’m coming up for air and I would like to announce the winner of the Mommy Strike slogan contest is…a dad named Eric!

Eric submitted several chants. This is the one my panel of judges (Read: me and my husband, Brian) liked the most:

We have the ability to kill our fertility!
Give us more power, or take a cold shower!

My husband also really liked this one:

The population’s look Peak-y
because us ladies won’t get Freak-y

Well done, Eric. Send me your address so I know where to mail your mug. (katrina [AT] workingmomsbreak [DOT] com)

The Mommy Strike slogan competition was stiff. Honorable mention to everyone who offered a slogan below. I’m including the original chants as well, so you’ll have the full list when you have to shout into that bullhorn.

International Mommy Strike Chants

From Momof2:

1,2,3,4 (he) why don’t we do it any more
5,6,7,8 (she) power point, pink eye, your dirty plate

*

T-I-R-E-D, like, total-LY

*

1,2,3,4 water cooler, vegas, commute no more
5,6,7,8 self employment’s really great

*

Hey, hey, ho, ho, this proposal’s got to go
Me, me, my oh my, it’s finally quiet downstairs…sigh

From Poker Chick:

Mommies on strike. Mommies on strike. You won’t like…mommies on strike.

*

Where do we live? AMERICA! Do we want to see our population die? HELL NO!!

*

Do what’s right: help parents get a life!

From Stacy:

You can take this baby back! We don’t want the Mommy Track!

From kt moxie:

Will work for …
FOOD
Daycare
Equal pay
SLEEP!

*

I found the glass ceiling.
I don’t live in a glass house.
I have a rock.

*
I’d like to thank my supportive working environment and community for enabling me to be a successful working mom.

Why are you laughing?

From Eric:

We have the ability to kill our fertility
Give us more power or take a cold shower

*
Looks like the next generation’s out of LUCK
because we’re killing the economy by refusing to _____.

*
The population’s look Peak-y
because us ladies won’t get Freak-y

*
If you want our loving touch
stop sucking so much

*
Give me fair treatment, for goodness’ sake
or I’ll keep saying I have a headache

*

Also, I have included the following, which relates more to mothers’ workplace problems than population issues:

C’mon Boss,
don’t be a jerk,
let me pump my milk at work!

(‘Boobs’ can be substituted for milk in this one, for added effect)

From Lucie:

I don’t know know but I’ve been told
The Western World is getting old
If good positions we can’t hold
No more babies; we’ll lock the mold.

From am:

Hell no, I won’t clean another dish
Hell no, I won’t mop another floor
You helped make them, now help take care of them!

From Brian:

No more baby boom!
I’m shuttin’ down this mama’s womb!

From Jess b.:

Make our system more like France
Or keep your penis in your pants!

From Emily S.:

Hey hey! Ho ho! Unpaid maternity leave has got to go!

From Jiya:

Less HOUSEWORK, more TEAMWORK!

From Stefanie:

Motherhood isn’t for sissies! (She submitted the photo above, which is from somewhere on the Isle of Wight.)

And the chants from my original post:

On strike!
Shut it DOWN!
My WOMB is now a union TOWN!

*

Pay a mother what she’s WORTH
of forget about CHILDBIRTH!
*

Give us schedules that are FLEX
or you get no procreative SEX!

*

1-2-3-4 Pumping rooms need LOCKING DOORS!
5-6-7-8 We’re not going to REPLICATE!

*
You don’t want to pay the PIPER?
You can change the baby’s DIAPER!

*

What’s disgusting? MOMMY BUSTING!
What’s outrageous? PAY GAP WAGES!

*

What do we want?
Flexibility, part time options, paid parental leave and sick days, and better on and off ramps!
When do we want it? NOW!

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* * *

Survey about working parents and stress is now closed. Thank you everyone who participated. I’m reading through the (more than 600!) responses and plan to post results soon.

You’re the star in this Mother’s Day video (courtesy of the tireless team at MomsRising). If you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to watch it with your name, first.

Start here and you’ll see what I mean.

Personally, I liked last year’s video better.

Pick your favorite, and send it to all your friends who deserve a little extra love on Mother’s Day.

* * *

Have you taken the survey, yet?

The survey I posted Monday about working parents and stress has already gotten more than 400 responses, and they’re still trickling in.

If you haven’t taken it yet, please do. (3 minutes only. Promise.) Then email it, Facebook it, Tweet it to your friends. The goal is to get at least another 100 responses, if we can. I’ll keep it open for at least another week.

Take the survey, now!

Last week I posted a story about how the birth rate is slowing down around the world, and how this in part relates to a kind of International Mommy Strike. (Studies show that when women are giving more support for working and raising families, the birth rate goes up closer to “replacement levels.”) If you’re still confused, read the story.

For kicks, I made up some goofy chants for the picket line (You don’t want to pay the PIPER? You can change the baby’s DIAPER!) There are more toward the bottom of last week’s story, and some in the comments of that story.

Now I’m asking YOU to write your own chant. Why? I don’t know why.

I just thought it would be fun. And maybe because all this stuff about how hard it is to raise children has reached a point of absurdity. Like the sick day thing. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.

The best chant will win a Working Moms Break mug!

That’s right. The first ever Working Moms Break mug.

Who wouldn’t want a classy Working Moms Break mug, the perfect thing for everyone’s coffee break. Imagine yourself, with your feet up on your desk, sipping deliciously hot coffee or tea. You look like any other hardworking mom or dad taking a much deserved break. But you’re holding your special mug, and thinking deep, subversive feminist thoughts.

I’ll post the slogans here and maybe, if we get a lot of them, on MomsRising.

Here’s what to do

Write your chants in the comments. It’s so easy. You can start with a classic union rhyme like

Hey hey, ho ho…..[add rhyme]

or

1, 2, 3, 4…[add rhyme] 4, 5, 7, 8 [add another rhyme]

or look at some of the ones people started in the comments here.

Try it. It’s fun!

About that mug…

I’ve never designed a mug before. This will be interesting. If you’re a designer and would like to offer a mug design…that would be awesome. Can’t pay you, but I’ll buy you the finished version. Email me: katrina@workingmomsbreak.com.

Please share this

Share this with your friends. The more chants people write the better. Right now I think four people have submitted chants, so the odds of you winning are high!

If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you know that I write a lot of posts about how overworked we are in the U.S. I write about how we lack government, workplace and familial supports that exist in many other parts of the world to balance work and family demands.

And if you read the comments on these stories, you know that every once in a while someone gets worked up and says we should all go on a Motherhood Strike.

I never know if this is a joke or not. What would we stop doing? Stop being mothers? But our families need us. Would we stop going to work? But we can’t afford it.

What if we just stopped having babies?

You know, like an anti-labor labor movement.

This may sound like a silly, made up argument, but right now, women in their childbearing years are “on strike” in more than 90 countries in Europe and Asia and it’s creating serious problems.

Confused? I was when I first read about this, too. I grew up hearing about the dangers of overpopulation, not underpopulation. But population growth has slowed dramatically. Today the average woman bears HALF as many children as she did in 1972. According to a Foreign Affairs story by Phillip Longman, the total number of human beings on the planet may begin to decline within our children’s lifetime.

This is good news in one way, because fewer people means fewer resources consumed. But it creates other problems. The birth rate is many countries is so low that it threatens the future supply of workers and taxpayers, which in turn, threatens the health and even national security of these countries. Whole cultures could die out. Which begs the question:

Why aren’t women in these countries having more babies?

Because the economics of family life have changed. Women are joining the workforce. They’re becoming less inclined to sign up for a large family and the stress and financial strain that goes with it.

You don’t want help us out? they say. Fine. Then raise your own future generation.

Could this happen in America?

Why not? Our current birth rate is 2.1, exactly replacement level. Wouldn’t you say that graduating more women from college than at any other time in history while simultaneously providing less support for working families than any developed nation in the world is practically willing it to happen?

I first read about this phenomenon in a 2010 book called The War on Moms, by Sharon Lerner. It’s fascinating stuff (and a great book). I started looking for other research about the International Baby Strike (also known as the Global Baby Bust) and found several stories, including this one, a 2008 New York Times story by Russell Shorto called ‘No Babies?’

It turns out women in Baby Bust countries want to have more babies but can’t swing it when a.) they don’t have family-friendly jobs and b.) their husbands won’t mop the floor. (We’re lookin’ at you, Italy!)

From the Times story:

“…women who do more than 75 percent of the housework and child care are less likely to want to have another child than women whose husbands or partners share the load…”

It doesn’t have to be like this.

Studies show that when women are given access to things like flexible work schedules and decent, affordable childcare, the birth rate starts to climb closer to replacement levels again. We just need a little helping hand. That’s all.

Also from the Times story:

“In Europe, many countries with greater gender equality have a greater social commitment to day care and other institutional support for working women, which gives those women the possibility of having second or third children.”

* * *

Some picket line chants, in case you decide to join the International Baby Strike:

• On strike! Shut it DOWN! My WOMB is now a union TOWN!
• Pay a mother what she’s WORTH or forget about CHILDBIRTH!
• Give us schedules that are FLEX or you get no procreative SEX!
• 1-2-3-4 Pumping rooms need LOCKING DOORS! 5-6-7-8 We’re not going to REPLICATE!
• You don’t want to pay the PIPER? You can change the baby’s DIAPER!
• What’s disgusting? MOMMY BUSTING! What’s outrageous? PAY GAP WAGES!
• What do we want? Flexibility, part time options, paid parental leave and sick days, and better on and off ramps! When do we want it? NOW!

Want to write your own chant?

It’s fun! Best one will win a prize.

Leave a comment or email me at katrina AT workingmomsbreak DOT com

* * *

It’s too late for me to join the strike. The photo above is my little guy, Jake, when he was about 3 months old.

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Thanks everyone, for the great comments on last week’s post about dealing with sick days. I thought we’d stay with that theme for another week with this guest post by Kitty Holman about how to tell if your child is faking sick.

From Kitty Holman:

Ferreting out the Ferris Bueller in your Family: 5 Signs that Your Child is Faking Sick

As the spring approaches, allergy season is upon us, and you’ll probably be dealing with illnesses in the family. At the same time, however, you’re a busy working parent who can’t really afford to stay home whenever your kid has a mild case of the sniffles. Staying home to care for a sick kid is of course important, but knowing when your kid is faking will enable you to take the necessary time off when your child is truly sick. Here are a few tell-tale signs, gleaned from parenting experience and the helpful advice of my husband, a doctor:

1. The symptoms are vague and change from one area of the body to another in a short period of time.

This is usually a dead giveaway. Although older or cleverer children may think to report symptoms consistent with a specific illness, the younger ones are usually not so careful. If your kid is complaining about aching stomach one minute, then says her head or ears hurt the next, keep your guard up.

2. Your child conveniently gets sick at the same time something unpleasant in school is going on (a test, a PE class, etc.)

Many kids often fake sick as a way to avoid a problem over which they have a certain level of anxiety. Tests, performances, and sports events are common ones. Anxiety is normal of course, and in this case, you should talk to your child about their problems and coax them into confronting them. However, sometimes children’s aversions could be more serious, like bullying or conflict with teachers or administrators. It’s very important to be communicative with your child and keep in touch with what’s going on in school to avoid the frequency of your child faking sick.

3. Your kid doesn’t consistently register a high temperature.

An above average temperature is the hallmark of illness, and if your child has a fever after checking the temperature twice within an hour or two, then she definitely should stay home. As Ferris has shown us, temperatures can be faked, but it’s hard to fake them for more than one or two trials. If your child doesn’t have a temperature but she insists that she’s sick, check for other signs of illness.

4. He or she is droopy-eyed one moment and energetic the next.

Most sick kids aren’t enthusiastic about doing activities they normally enjoy. If your child is having too much fun watching TV and doesn’t feel the need to sleep more than usual (another sign of illness), then you’ve got a faker on your hands.

5. Your child refuses to go to the doctor and is hesitant about taking medicine or other measures that an ill person would likely welcome.

Although some kids hate the doctor and hate medicine, they will usually comply if they are truly sick. If, in combination with the above signs, your kid refuses to see a medical professional or turns down medicine, then you know they are likely making things up.

These are just a few ways to tell if your child is faking sick to avoid school. The best way to tell if your child is sick, however, is by simply knowing your child well and noticing physical changes. Mothers are on the vanguard when it comes to this sort of intuition; you really don’t need medical knowledge to be able to discern the real thing from the sham. At the same time, however, be aware that constantly faking sick is a textbook symptom of early on-set depression, chronic anxiety, or some other psychological ill. If you suspect this is the case, talk to a mental health professional as soon as possible.

This guest post is contributed by Kitty Holman, who writes for nursing colleges.  She welcomes your comments at kitty.holman20@gmail.com.

I just spent the last week in Long Beach, CA, at the TED conference. This was my third year there, and once again, my mind was blown to smithereens.

The TED conference, in case you’ve never heard of it, is this incredible gathering of leaders in technology, entertainment, and design—accomplished do-gooders trying to improve the environment, education, and even basic human relations. You’ve probably seen some of the TED videos, like this one, which are free to the public.

This year, Deb Roy distilled thousands of hours of audio into 40 seconds so we could hear how his son learned to say the word “water.” Anthony Atala showed us a kidney he “printed” that morning (see photo above).  Jack Horner explained that he is learning to manipulate ancient genes in order to turn a modern day chicken into a velociraptor. The chef, Homaro Cantu, demonstrated how a piece of fruit from Africa called the ‘miracle berry’ can turn sour into sweet. (It has to be tasted to be believed. It made the slice of lemon I sucked on taste like lemonade.)

Aaron O’Connell, a quantum physicist, told us how he made a chip large enough to be seen with the naked eye appear in two places at once. (As a working mom, the implications of this were tantalizing. One day maybe I could be in my office AND push Jake on the swing at the same time?)

The kitchen inside Jaime Oliver's food truck is nicer than the kitchen in my house.

Between sessions, we toured the kitchen in Jamie Oliver’s food truck and took a spin in the Google self-driving car (video below), but most of the time, we talked.

Every time I told someone what I was writing about (the dysfunction between today’s workplace and today’s families; the impossibility of “having it all” as a working mom; my spectacular experience with burning out) they told me their own stories.

A woman told me she worked such long hours at a (highly respected) consultancy that she never managed to take her child to the dentist until her daughter was six and had a mouthful of cavities. The mom was so upset she quit her job.

A man who runs a professional consultant firm (a different one) said he tried very hard to accommodate one of his employees who had kids. This employee was great at her job, and he gave her a lot of flexibility, but eventually they both had to admit it wasn’t working. There were too many competing demands on her time. She had to resign. He felt bad about it.

I met a man who sleeps only 3-4 hours a night in order to make time in the evenings to be with his family. (He goes back to work after they go to bed.)

I met a woman who runs her own business and says she works every moment she’s not with her kids. She said her solution to avoiding a nervous breakdown was to get a divorce. After she and her husband split up and they agreed on shared custody, he became much more involved at home. Now she has a  a couple days a week when she has no parenting responsibilities, she enjoys the time when she is on mom-duty, and life is manageable.

I met an ER doctor who said work-family conflict is terrible in his profession, even among the OB-GYNs who “should know better.” He said when an OB-GYN has to take time off to have a baby, the other doctors in her practice get annoyed, because it means they have to pick up the slack.

After each of these conversations, we’d go back into the main theater to hear about another modern day miracle. Carlo Ratti showed us photos of a building he designed with walls made of water. Rajesh Rao showed us how computer modeling is helping him to decipher the meaning of 4,000 year old Indus valley script. And Roger Ebert brought a thousand people to tears (including me) by recounting the story of how he lost his ability to talk, and then regained it through computerized speech.

There are incredible things happening in the world. The greatest minds are solving unfathomably complicated problems. And yet, very simple things still elude us.

If a man can create a velociraptor out of a chicken, why can’t we make the workplace humane for the millions of people who have to report in every day?

Maybe it’s that the solutions to our workplace problems aren’t sexy. Telecommuting, for example, is extremely practical, but it’s not sexy. Paid sick days aren’t sexy. Job-sharing and part time work is not only UNsexy, it sounds like an inconvenience for the people who work full time.

What do you think? What miracle would you like to see in the workplace?

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This is the inside view of my ride in the self-driving Google car.

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Help Working Moms Break reach the first 500 fans on Facebook!

Why aren’t there more female superheroes?

My friend, former housemate, and female superhero herself, Kristy Guevara-Flanagan, is making a film about it. Watch the trailer, which includes interviews with Gloria Steinem, Lynda Carter, and Lindsay Wagner (The Bionic Woman):

If you like what you see, donate to the Kickstarter campaign so she can finish the film.

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What’s up with Democrats criticizing Michelle Obama for encouraging women to breastfeed?

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Last but not least, travel the world, country by country, burger by burger. Your tour guide is a working mom who worked her ass off in corporate America for 20 years before deciding to be home with her kids.