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I try to make sure our kids have equal access to fairy wands and toy trucks, and when Ruby dresses Jake in a princess dress, everyone (including Jake, for the first five minutes, anyway) thinks it’s cool. But Jake still gravitates to the trucks, balls, and tools, whereas Ruby and Martha, until recently, lived in Princess Central. Have we failed in our gender-neutral conditioning? Are they simply hard-wired to choose pink chiffon over electric drills?

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