Getting all Huffy

by Katrina on August 29, 2011

I’m bursting with my good news: I’m officially a blogger for the Huffington Post!

Over the last few days, I’ve been gushing to friends about this. They always seem a bit baffled by my excitement. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Q: Weren’t you already a blogger for The Huffington Post?

A: Well, I did publish a few stories in the past, through the MomsRising/Peaceful Revolution column, but I didn’t have my own blogger account. I had to pitch my ideas to the MomsRising editor, and stick to topics that fit their advocacy framework. But now, I have my own account, which means I can post up to two stories a week! In any section! On any topic!

Q: Wow. So the editors discovered your blog and invited you to write for them?

A: Not exactly. I kind of stalked a couple of unsuspecting editors at the BlogHer conference, and badgered the poor women in the hallway until they agreed to let me write a trial story.

Q: Uh…that’s cool. It’s probably good exposure, right?

A: Damn straight! The site is ranked #22 in the most highly traffic web sites for a U.S. audience. More than 30 million people visit the site each month. Dude, that’s more online readers than the New York Times!

Q: That’s great! Are they paying you?

A: Er…no. Of course not. Everyone knows they don’t pay bloggers.

Q: Oh. Well, congrats anyway. So what are you going to write about?

A: I don’t really know.

Here’s the thing: I’m still trying to figure out what I’m allowed to write about. Of course, I plan to continue writing about the mismatch between the workplace and our personal lives, but there are a lot of ways to write about that. I’d also like to do some interviews and book reviews if I can. I think I can also get a HuffPo (ahem, that’s what we insiders call it…) media badge to cover events if I get an editor’s approval.

Any suggestions on specific topics I should write about? People I should try to interview? Books or events I should try to cover? I’m taking requests.

Do you have a story to share? They tend to run a lot of personal stories and opinion pieces. If you have a great story—about a great/terrible work situation, about why you work or why you don’t, about being a parent or choosing not to be one—tell me about it. Maybe I should interview you.

 

 

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BlogHer? I barely know her.

Post image for BlogHer? I barely know her.

by Katrina on August 15, 2011

Last week I attended my first BlogHer conference, in San Diego.

It was a trip. Thousands of women in cute summer dresses and shimmering lip gloss descended on the convention center ready to learn and network and maybe even pick up a new product sponsor. (Something about big groups of women makes me self-conscious about the fact that I never wear lipstick, and I really need to do something about my hair.)

There were women of all ages, faiths, and political beliefs. Most of the women I met are moms (or grandmothers), and many of them, it seemed, started blogging after they had kids, as a way to feel less isolated. A lot of them had quit their jobs (for the same reasons many of us quit our jobs). They saw blogging as a way to make a little cash and still be home with their families. Many of the women I met dreamed of their blogs going big so they could live off the advertising income and never have to work another crappy job again. (Some of them already have made it big, but I kept thinking most of them could make more money as copywriters instead of writing sponsored blog posts for $50 a pop.)

Dozens of product sponsors tried to woo us, and I made off with a fat bag of free mints, body products, toys for the kids. And yes, Tupperware.

Like every conference everywhere, there was a lot of happy talk (Go bloggers! Go BlogHer! Go women! Go products!), but also this undercurrent of anguish about not being able to do it all: be a good mother, a good partner, and a good worker/blogger. Every time the topic popped to the surface, the discussion quickly devolved into a pep rally about how women need to change their attitudes.

In one typical session, a panel of women—all leaders in publishing—were asked to talk about “Redefining Success.” Again, with the happy talk.

“Tell yourself you’re doing your best!”

“Your kids don’t need you as much as you think they do!”

“If you don’t want to work, then don’t! You can always come back later…”

That last point really got under my skin. Because it’s not true. Studies show when women take a few years off to be with their children, it’s damnably hard to get back into their careers. [1] Which is one of many factors going into the pay gap between mothers and men.

In fact, the whole conversation was disappointing to me. Sure, we all need to examine our attitudes and make the best of our individual situations. But it’s not a coincidence that so many of us make ourselves sick trying to work and raise a family. Considering that study after study shows America is uniquely hostile to working families, saying we just need to change our attitudes is disempowering, and reveals a void of creative thinking.

There was zero discussion about the structural problems that leave working parents and stay-at-home parents feeling overworked, isolated, and unsupported. The traditional path to career “success” is to work long hours and take no time off. This doesn’t work for most mothers (and many fathers). Which is why so few women make it into leadership roles in any industry.

When it was time for questions, I asked the panel to tell us what they were doing as leaders to “Redefine Success.” And, because I didn’t want to put them on the spot, I said maybe they could tell us what other people did for them, to help them get where they are.

A bunch of people in the audience applauded when I was done. Apparently, I had struck a nerve. Then the conversation on stage went back to the usual.

“It’s not going to change in our generation.”

“The next generation will have to fix this.”

“We can’t expect companies to help us when the recession is killing everyone.”

What I would have said, if I still had the mic, is that it’s a cop-out to say this is the next generation’s problem, and the last comment is patently untrue. Companies with more women make higher profits, and companies that employ some type of “custom-fit” work practices see a benefit in their bottom line.

But I’m glad I spoke up, because for the rest of the conference, women kept stopping me and saying “Are you the one who asked that great question…?” My 30 seconds of fame.

I learned a lot at BlogHer, and met some wonderful people, but I hope next year’s conference will deal more honestly with how to connect your personal story to issues we all face. Until we see that connection, nothing is going to change.

* * *

At the conference, I met up with several like-minded souls. I recommend you see what they have to say:

Women changing the world

International Museum of Women. At one of the lunches, Krista Walton told me about an online exhibition she’s helping plan about motherhood. It sounds very cool. Want to submit something? See the full call for submissions.

Women Donors Network. Progressive women putting their money where their mouth is. Looking forward to learning more about what they’re up to.

MomsRising. I blog for them, but had never met the charming Anita Jackson and Ashley Boyd face-to-face, so that was fun. Ashley and I snuck away to the exhibit hall and compared conference notes while we luxuriated in free foot massages.

Fellow Oaklander, Aspen Baker, runs Exhale, an after-abortion counseling talkline. I’ve never heard of such a thing, but what a smart idea. (Call Exhale to talk freely about your experience with abortion. 1-866-4 EXHALE)

Women who will make you laugh

Nancy Davis Kho of Midlife Mixtape and I had only met once before we ended up sharing a hotel room at the conference. She was an excellent roommate. I would go anywhere with that lady. She’s wicked funny and sweet, listens patiently to my rants, dances a mean dougie, and doesn’t keep the light on too late. She also gave a wonderful reading on open mic night about being a concert “cougar”.

Shared a table on open mic night with the very witty “modern day housewife superhero,” Kristen McClusky of Motherload. Planning a trip? See her tips about the dangers of traveling cross-country with young children.

Yuliya from She Suggests had the best business cards at the entire conference, featuring her original photography, and she didn’t take it personally when I shushed her during a session. This is her funny recap of the conference.

Women with advice to share

Authors Melissa Ford, of Stirrup Queens, and Carleen Brice gave a lot of great advice about publishing for wannabe book authors. Melissa gives a lot of this information away for free on her site.

I met Linda Kazares of Divorcettes on a BlogHer “speed date.” Her site looks like a great resource for anyone going through a divorce.

Rookie Moms, Heather and Whitney are also the geniuses behind this wonderful local resource: 510Families.

Elisa Bautista of Mothertalkers is a joy to talk with about everything from progressive issues to pop culture, and she gave good advice on a panel about building community.

The Wise Latina Club. Also known as the alter-ego of Viviana Hurtado, challenging stereotypes about Latinas.

Chrysula Winegar is a fellow MomsRising blogger who coaches people on work-life issues.

* * *

I’m working more lately, which means I have less time to write. If you want to stay in touch with the blog but don’t know when to check it, I hope you will do one (or more) of the following:

  • Subscribe by email
    When there’s a new post, you’ll get it in your email. Lately I’ve been posting every 1-2 weeks.
  • “Like” me on Facebook
    You’ll see new blog posts in your news feed.
  • Follow me on Twitter
    Warning: BlogHer made me face the truth. I’m a lame, lazy tweeter, so don’t expect a lot of action there.

* * *

[1] From this 2006 Slate article: “A recent study found that a full 93 percent of ‘highly qualified’ women who have opted out want to find a way back in and can’t.”

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Adventures from the couch

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by Katrina on August 10, 2011

OK, I’m glad that’s over. The hospital fantasy, I mean.

That’s a self-portrait of me, post-surgery. I won’t bore you with the gory details but it was scary and it hurt, as expected. I had a reaction to the painkillers and got really sick, and then I had to lie on the couch for nine days with my leg in the air, which got old, fast.

There were some good things about it, though. Like, the part about lying on the couch for nine days. Boring but oddly therapeutic.

I’m very goal-oriented, so I had to take it on as a project. I stopped drinking caffeine and tried to enjoy doing nothing. I read a fantastic memoir and immersed myself in more TV in one week than I’ve seen in the last year. I watched 29 episodes of Friday Night Lights, until I started talking like the wife of a Texas football coach. (“I’ll tell you what. Y’all should pick up summathem juicy burgers at Applebees…”)

My husband went along with it, chatting in his Coach Taylor accent while he made dinner and folded laundry. The kids tripped over themselves to be helpful; jockeying to fetch my glass of water or a new ice pack. Every day, friends called to check in or stopped by to visit.

At some point, I got a text message from MomsRising telling me to call House Speaker John Boehner and ask him to stop holding America’s economy hostage. I did, but he didn’t listen to me.

(By the way, I recommend you sign up for these weekly text alerts from MomsRising. They’re a fantastic way for busy people to make their voices heard in 30 seconds or less. You get one text a week. If you don’t have time to respond, you ignore them. Every fourth time, I happen to be waiting in line or something, and then I respond. They dial the number for you, and tell you what to say so you don’t sound like an idiot. It’s brainless activism. Perfect for someone like me.)

I still recommend taking a real vacation over surgery, but if you find your hospital fantasy becomes real, try to surrender to it. And let your friends bring you food. (Thanks, Deborah, Holly, Novella, and Angel!)

* * *

Almost as soon as I got off the crutches, I limped over to the BlogHer conference in San Diego. I’ll write about that in my next post.

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My hospital fantasy

by Katrina on July 14, 2011

I’m getting knee surgery on Tuesday. And I need your help.

What should I do with my week on the couch?

Remember that thing I wrote a while back? About people fantasizing about going into the hospital, just to get a break, because they were so stressed out? I put together a poll, and found out that close to half of us harbor secret hospital fantasies. (When I first wrote about the results, only 37% of the people who responded said they had hospital fantasies, but I left the poll open. I just checked it now and the numbers have shifted to 45%.)

I didn’t have a hospital fantasy then. I’m too much of a control freak to relax and leave my physical well-being to strangers. Which is why I’ve been waking in a cold sweat at 2 A.M., worrying about the surgery.

I know I’m a wuss. This surgery is minor compared to a lot of other things people endure. There’s no need to get worked up. I keep trying to remind myself that I’ve had two babies. How bad can a little knee surgery be? At least I don’t have to push a baby out of my knee.

I have a torn meniscus, in case you’re wondering. If you know knee injuries, you know that this is not an exotic one. Everyone and her mother has had a torn meniscus. It’s no big deal. They can fix them now. They knock you out, poke a couple holes, insert a camera and a teeny tiny little surgical instrument or two. Takes half an hour.

The doctor said I’m not supposed to walk for more than a week afterward. Most of that time is to be spent on the couch, lying on my back, with my foot over my head. (Toes above the nose!)

Brian is all geared up for taking on child care and household duties. I’m taking the week off of the project I’m working on, and trying to see this as an opportunity, a hospital fantasy kind of opportunity.

It turns out, there are a lot of things you can do with your toes above your nose. Things that you want to do but usually don’t have time for, like

  • Learn Portuguese
  • Practice new forms of meditation
  • Teach oneself how to use Axure (a prototyping tool I need to learn for my work)
  • Read the classics and improve one’s mind
  • Write the essay you’ve been wanting to pitch for Modern Love
  • Make lots of phone calls and catch up with old friends

But maybe I should see this as an opportunity to tame my restless nature. To yield to the healing process and the painkillers, and do something completely out of character for a Type-A like me: Watch a ton of movies.

So I’m taking suggestions. Movies I should rent? Trashy novels I should read? Has anyone had a restorative hospital fantasy with advice to share?

* * *

Update: After I originally posted this, my dad, (who faithfully reads my blog from his home in the great state of Connecticut), sent me this email about my grandfather’s torn meniscus when he was a WWII fighter pilot. It was a very sweet way of saying, ‘Buck up, kid.’

Thanks, Dad, for putting it all in perspective.

Katrina,

Your Grandfather Johnny had a torn menicus when he ditched a plane in the South Pacific. This left a piece of cartilage floating around in the knee gumming up the works. The doctor called it a “Joint Mouse” as a medical homage to the small rodent which seemed, in the forties, to be able to get in and out of anywhere (where there were no cats). A “joint mouse” was a danger because, while floating around it could accidentally position itself in such a way that the leg would not bend or straighten. If he was piloting the plane at the time, the war effort in the South Pacific could be compromised. The nearest hospital was occupied by the Japanese. The doctor gave dad a swig of whisky for the pain, cut just below the kneecap with a scalpel and lifting the kneecap, withdrew the loose cartilage with medical forceps. Dad had the weekend to rest up.

You carry on a family tradition which means you are in league with history.

Medical Science is going further with you than with my father. They have repaired your meniscus, not withdrawn it with forceps.

This was the stuff of science fiction when I was a young man. But today is 2011; your doctor has done this thousands of times; he probably does four a day, 44 weeks a year. He can do this in his sleep. This is routine.

Love,

Dad

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Event: Joan Blades talk on the Custom-Fit Workplace, (special guest appearance by me!)

Post image for Event: Joan Blades talk on the Custom-Fit Workplace, (special guest appearance by me!)

by Katrina on July 11, 2011

Bay Area peeps: come hear Joan Blades speak about her book, The Custom-Fit Workplace, “an inspirational guide for making the workplace more nimble, trust-based, and – for business owners – more profitable.” I think she’s on to something…

Joan co-founded MoveOn.org, and then more recently, MomsRising.org, which I like to think of as a kind of MoveOn for Moms (and the people who love them). She is also a friend of mine, and asked me to speak on the panel after her talk. So let me know if you’re coming, and please stop by and say hi!

Date: Thursday, July 14th, 2011

Time: Noon to 1:30 p.m.

Place: Freight and Salvage, 2050 Addison St., Berkeley

Admission: $15 at the door ($10 for students) gets you lunch catered by The Bread Workshop from 12 to 12:30. (Discussion starts at 12:30 and is free to the public. RSVP to whoisylvia@aol.com by June 13th if you would like lunch).

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Avoiding the “Workation”

by Katrina on July 7, 2011

We’re back, after a peaceful week in a tent, at the edge of Yosemite. For one exciting, very wet day, thunder and lightening crashed around us. The rest of our vacation was sunny days by the river, swimming, fishing, and eating popsicles. I even read a whole Aimee Bender novel!

The absolute best part of the trip was all the focused outdoor time with our kids.

The second best part was that we had no cell phone reception.

This meant that I couldn’t give in to my annoying tic, wherein I check email on my phone every five minutes. Or maybe every five seconds, if I’m really worried about a work thing, or more likely, I’m just bored. Or procrastinating. I hate that I do this.

But with no cell phones working, I couldn’t check email (or news headlines, or stock prices, or Facebook). So instead, when I felt a twinge of boredom, I relaxed into the empty space of my unoccupied mind. It was peaceful. Therapeutic. I came home with a new resolve to spend less time staring at my phone.

Which brings me to this story my friend Steve sent about Americans working through their vacations.

Sixty-six percent of the 5,000 people surveyed said they will check and respond to email during their time off and 29 percent expect they may have to attend meetings virtually while on vacation.

In other words, most Americans work during their vacations.

That seemed sad to me. We all need down time. Especially the 88% of working parents with stress-related health problems.

But the even sadder part was the tone of the article, which quickly turned to advice about the “best way to blend vacation and work time.” You know, like, ask your colleagues to send you a single daily report email, rather than ad hoc emails, or find a proper business center where you can do your work with minimal disruptions.

“Modern work pressures mean that more and more of us work during our vacations,” said Guillermo Rotman, CEO of Regus. “The important thing is to minimize the inconvenience by working as efficiently as we can. Rather than struggle through three stressful and unproductive hours trying to work by the poolside, you could do the same amount of work more efficiently in a single hour at a business center, with free Wi-Fi, secure high-speed broadband and professional administrative support. You then have two hours free to relax properly.”

The important thing is to work efficiently on our vacations? Hmmm…I have a better idea. How about we just stop working?

I can see why it might be difficult for, say, Obama to do this…but are the rest of us professionals really so important that we can’t go away for a week and let other people cover for us? I don’t think so. I suspect that a lot of this working on vacation is really about trying desperately to appear indispensable, because we’re all afraid of losing our jobs. Which becomes a peer pressure thing. If everyone else works on their vacation, then you look like a slacker when you don’t.

Here’s my advice for your next vacation:

1. Tell people you’re going will be unreachable.
Say this with a nonchalant confidence. No apologies. If you apologize, it implies you are doing something wrong. Give people plenty of time to plan around your absence.

2. Pick a vacation spot with no cell phone reception.
Psst! Bay Area families! Tuolumne is great for this. And the only land line available is the pay phone in the dining hall. Be sure to leave your quarters at home. Better yet, leave the country, and avoid the Internet cafes at all costs.

3. Set your auto-reply message to the most annoying setting.
Have it send an “I’m not checking email” message to every single person who emails you, no matter how many times they email, rather than only sending a one-time only auto-reply. That way, every time someone sends you an email, they will be reminded that it is piling up in your inbox with all the others they sent.

What do you think? Are you going to work on your next vacation?

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Unplugging this week

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by Katrina on June 26, 2011

We’re unplugging this week. Family camp, here we come! I hope to not so much as glance at one electronic communications device all week.

So you have more time to read last week’s post, if you haven’t already. I hope you will. It took me forever to put it together.

And if you’re still looking for something to read, check out my friend Nancy Davis Kho’s new site, Midlife Mixtape, in which she waxes poetic about the intersection of middle age and music. And sympathize with my friend Margot, who writes about her first month back at work after maternity leave. No matter how much you love your job, that first month is tough…

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Survey: 88% of Working Parents Suffer Stress-related Health Problems

by Katrina on June 20, 2011

Working parents have a lot to juggle, and this can create stress. But what we often overlook is that stress has real health consequences.

Several weeks ago, I put together a survey* asking working parents about stress and its effects on their health. More than 600 people responded. I filtered out respondents who lived in a household with at least one stay-at-home adult, which left 560 respondents in households where all adults work. Their answers were alarming:

  • 80% catch up on work nights and weekends
  • 81% worry they will burn out
  • 88% said they suffer from at least one stress-related health problem since becoming a working parent
  • 59% have problems with anxiety
  • 43% struggle with depression

Can you say “public health crisis”?

Moreover, what these numbers don’t show, but what any stressed out parent will tell you, is that once the health effects of stress are felt, everything gets that much harder to manage. That’s when some of us start circling the drain.

Interestingly, most parents (82%) said their employers offered at least one family-friendly perk, such as flexible scheduling. But it seems clear that this is not enough to keep stress at bay for most.

When asked to choose one thing that would make their lives easier as a working parent, there was no one-size-fits-all answer. About a quarter selected “More help with chores/kids” and another quarter answered “Good part time option.” Detailed responses are below.

But before you dive into the details, here’s what I think we all need to understand. Most jobs are made for people who have no caregiving responsibilities. That means that most parents (or people caring for elderly or sick loved ones) do most of the accommodating. The results of this survey imply that for many of us, the price we pay is our health.

Hundreds of parents left comments at the end of the survey. One summarized the problem this way:

“Unfortunately, we’re living in a “half-changed world” – women have many more professional opportunities than did the last generation, but our importance as mothers and wives and to ourselves has not been taken into account, and there are increasing demands from our jobs…We all need to redefine work/success/”doing it all” so that our daughters will not face these same dilemmas.”

Who took the survey

  • Most people who took the survey are moms. (96%)
  • Most live in the U.S., although a handful of responses came from other countries. (Big wave to our friends in Canada, the UK, Australia, Germany, the Netherlands, France, Italy, India, and Guatemala!)
  • Most have 1-2 children, and roughly half have at least one child under the age of three. (Standing ovation for the six respondents who have 4 or more children and somehow manage to work outside the home.)
  • 75% work full time.**
  • 8% are single parents.
  • Of those who have a live-in partner, 81% of their partners work full time.
  • Almost everyone works because they need the income (91%) but that’s not the only reason they work. More than half said that, despite the juggling act, they enjoy working.

How bad is it?

To be clear, not everyone is profoundly stressed. About 20% of people said they do not worry about burning out. Also, about 20% work less than 32 hours per week. Is this the same 20%? I don’t know—the survey tool I’m using won’t tell us. But I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a correlation. This is what one parent said about her schedule:

“I feel SO incredibly lucky to be able to go part time (4 days/week 32 hours)–just that one day helps so much, and part time work in my field is rare.”

When I asked people to rate their overall level of stress on a scale of 1-5 (1 being “very little,” 5 being “extreme”), the average answer was 3.4. Detailed responses below. (Click image to enlarge.)

Stress level of working parents

While some people seem to be balancing things pretty well, the overwhelming feedback was that most people simply have too much to do, and this creates all sorts of problems, including health problems. A whopping 491 people out of 560 (88%) reported at least one health problem they’ve experienced since becoming a working parent. You could argue that these are not all a direct result of working parent stress. However, it’s hard to say that stress and lack of time to take care of ourselves isn’t a factor.

Here’s the detailed breakdown of health problems working parents reported. (Click image to enlarge.)

Note: Parents were allowed to select more than one response. The number 491 refers to the total number of people who checked at least one of the above options, if not more than one.

“Other” responses included these: Read full story>

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Hurray for Dad!..Where’s Dad?

by Katrina on June 18, 2011

Father’s Day tomorrow. And a gazillion new surveys to tell us how the dads are doing…

I found this one by the Pew Research Center most intriguing: “A Tale of Two Dads. More Are Active, but More Are Absent.”

The fathers who live with their children, it seems, are becoming more actively involved in their children’s lives. But fewer fathers are living with their children.

Whether dads live with their kids is strongly related to socio-economic status. So, to put it bluntly, the study would suggest that poor dads are less involved with their kids than well-off dads.

Which flies in the face of a different study I read last year, that says that working class dads are making far greater progress on the kids n’ chores frontier than professional dads:

Between 1965 and 2003, college-educated husbands, on average, increased the time they spent doing housework by 33 percent. Husbands who graduated from high school but not college increased theirs by 52 percent. And husbands who were not high school graduates doubled the amount of housework they did. Despite starting from a lower level in the 1960s, these men are now taking on at least as much responsibility for housework as husbands with a college education and more than those who graduated from high school.

The Pew study also found that most fathers say being a dad is harder than it was a generation ago. Which is a great segue into Monday’s post, so stay tuned.

What about the dads in your life? How involved are they with their kids?

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Sneak peek at survey results

Post image for Sneak peek at survey results

by Katrina on June 7, 2011

I’m still going through your wonderful responses to the survey and hope to post the results next week. Here’s sneak peek at the data:

81% of people who took the survey said they worry about burning out.

81 percent! Are you as astonished by that number as I am? In the words of one parent who took the survey:

Burnout isn’t a question of if, but when!

This is out of 560 respondents who live in households where all adults work. (Most of them are married and have a partner who works; a small percentage are single parents.)

Another thing that came out of the survey:

The number one hardest thing about being a working parent is GUILT.

Specifically “Guilt that I can’t do everything well.” This surpassed lack of time with kids, with one’s partner, and lack of time alone.

I have to think these two things are related: the overwhelming number of people who fear they will burn out, and their guilt that whatever they do is not good enough.

So I’ve been thinking about stress relief, guilt relief. What are some things we can do for ourselves to slow down, just a little? It’s bad enough that the world is demanding we do two impossible jobs, but so much worse when we beat ourselves up for not doing it perfectly. How can we give ourselves a break?

A friend sent me a link this morning (thanks, Kim!) about postpartum “confinement centers” where women are sequestered in a warm cocoon of care for the first month after giving birth. This may sound strange to Western ears, but when I think back to the other-worldly, unbearable lightness of being state I was in the first few weeks after giving birth, it sounds wonderful to me:

To Western ears, confinement sounds like something out of a Victorian novel, but in some traditional Asian cultures, women still spend the month after a baby’s birth in pampered seclusion. Typically, a woman’s relatives would care for her, but more recently, the practice has been outsourced to postpartum doulas and confinement centers, like the one Ms. Lu operates. In the United States, they cater to middle-class immigrant women separated from their families. Business is steady enough in New York City to support at least four postpartum centers, tucked away in the heavily Asian-immigrant neighborhoods of Flushing and Bayside, Queens.

The story made me think we need to develop new traditions to help us cope with the busyness of our modern working parent lives. What would they look like?

  • Saturday morning “confinement centers” for exhausted stressed out moms and dads to catch up on sleep? (Hmm…I know some stay-at-home parents who could use this, too.)
  • Neighborhood potlucks or meal exchanges to share the responsibility of cooking on work days?
  • Workplace “interventions” or quarterly audits where unreasonable managers get called on the carpet by employees for not allowing more flexibility?
  • “Adopt-a-grandparent clearinghouses” where you get matched with an extended family when you don’t have one?

What new traditions would make your life better?

* * *

We’re now in the Top 25 Political Mom Blogs, but just barely. (Last I checked, Working Moms Break was 5 votes ahead of “Moms 4 Sarah Palin!”)

Please keep Working Moms Break and MomsRising in the Top 25!

Already voted? No problem. You can vote once a day until June 13.

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